Movie Review: I Want Your Sex

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The new movie “I Want Your Sex” was another example where I was tricked into seeing a bad movie for this blog due to the high reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. I am at a loss as to how a movie this bad could be getting any good critical reviews. I also wondered if this film had anything to do with George Michael’s 1987 hit song – which it did not.

“A young man lands a job working for a controversial artist, only to become an unwilling participant in a dangerous game where he is her employee and at the same time being coerced into being her unwilling sexual experiment”. This movie is supposed to be some kind of dramatic comedy, but there is nothing funny here.

The owner of an art studio Erika Tracey(Olivia Wilde), creates insane sexual art, including one involving a drawing of a female private part, where both customers and employees stick gum on the drawing, the hardest-to-believe exhibit in this movie. Erika hires Elliot Bell (Cooper Hoffman) as one of her employees, and almost immediately this relationship degrades into coerced sexual experimentation that Erika forces on her financially challenged victim. There are meaningless side stories that include Elliot and his very angry girlfriend, Minerva (Charli XCX), and Elliot’s other female (and equally broke) friend, Apple (Chase Sui Wonders), with several inserted police interview scenes with Detective Zem (Johnny Knoxville) and Detective Zola (Margaret Cho) – primarily to make this 30-minute nightmare film into close to two hours.

This is the kind of film that only shows up in older arthouse theaters, is very low budget, and will be out of movie theaters in about two weeks.

My rating for this disaster is 0%, and a recommendation to shred the DVD as soon as it is released.

Movie Review: Spider-Man: Brand New Day

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The last Spider-Man movie, “Movie Review: Spider-Man: No Way Home”, was released in December 2021, nearly five years ago. That movie had a plotline that continues into this latest franchise film, where Spider-Man’s two friends, MJ (Zendaya) and Ned Leeds (Jacob Batalon), do not remember who Spider-Man/Peter Parker (Tom Holland) is because, in the last film, the world discovered Spider-Man’s true identity. Peter Parker’s exposed identity caused many serious problems for his friends, forcing him to go to Doctor Strange to reverse time so that Parker could choose certain people in the world who were allowed to know Spider-Man’s true identity. Once again, for Marvel films like this, you have to suspend any level of common sense, and I considered this part of the story one of the most insane ideas within the Marvel franchise.

For this new film, Spider-Man has a new friend, Frank Castle/The Punisher (Jon Bernthal), and Detective Jean DeWolff (Liza Colón-Zayas) – who is one of the lead actors in “The Bear” Hulu series, and visits with his old friend The Hulk(Mark Ruffalo). Florence Pugh also makes an appearance as Yelena Belova/Black Widow, who has all of her scenes in a steam room, which I thought was too off-the-wall an idea.

Spider-Man is also very depressed, having lost his friends, and this time around, fighting nonstop crime is interrupted by some medical issues, with severe headaches that are suggested to be caused by his depression over losing his friends, including the love of his life MJ. He has many other medical issues, including his wrists’ spider web ejector either erratically working or not working at all.

The antagonist in this story is a woman named Jean Gray, played by Sadie Sink, who has the ability to invade people’s minds and force them to do whatever she wants, with the one exception being Spider-Man. Later in this story, Gray’s brain control ability increases greatly to being able to control the minds of everybody in New York City. All this creates many scenes of impressive special effects that are as good as, or in some scenes better than, all the previous Spider-Man movies.

I mostly agree with Rotten Tomatoes’ 91% rating, with my rating at 85% and a solid recommendation.

Netflix Movie Review: 72 Hours

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The world has known for years that Kevin Hart is one of the best stand-up comedians of all time. More impressive is the years of dues he has paid to rise to the top of the entertainment industry, now as a producer and the head of his own production company, “Hartbeat,” and with a net worth of 400 million dollars.

Unfortunately, his habit of making very bad comedy movies on Netflix continues, with the latest release, “72 Hours”. While watching this waste of two hours, I was amazed that Hart or any of the other cast members could have read this screenplay and then agreed to make the movie. Just about all of the attempts at comedy failed throughout this film, including – once again – the telltale sign of a bad movie – the projectile vomiting over other people scene. Someone, somewhere in the entertainment industry, still thinks that a huge amount of vomiting is funny in a movie. It’s even funnier when someone profusely vomits all over other people. Kevin Hart has had too many of these scenes in his movies; this one is one of the all-time worst.

Kevin Hart stars as Joe Nixon, who is an up and coming advertizing executive who has had a few bad campaigns lately. The plan is to connect Joe with some young men in their 20s so he can learn what they like. These four young men are played by three cast members of Saturday Night Live, Ben Marshall (Hunter), Kam Patterson (Freshman), Marcello Hernández (Nick), and their friend who is about to be married, Mason, played by Mason Gooding. None of the attempted humorous scenes and personal connections with Joe Nixon and these younger men worked. The humor is crude, in some cases disgusting, with nothing humorous. Most amazing about this arguably the worst Kevin Hart Netflix comedy movie is that it took four screenwriters to write it: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, Kevin Burrows, and Matt Mider. Joe Nixon is also having problems with his girlfriend, Jennifer, played by Teyana Taylor – which is a sub-story that seemed more about making the movie last closer to two hours.

The Rotten Tomatoes ratings are an accurate, very low 14% – with my rating 1% and a must-miss-this-bad-movie recommendation.