Movie Review: Napoleon


From the trailers and TV commercials, the new movie “Napoleon”, directed by Ridley Scott, looked to be a huge epic and best picture nominee for this year’s Oscars. The problem with this film right from the start is the performance of Oscar winner Joaquin Phoenix, who for the first 3rd of this movie seems to be sleepwalking through his role, with way too few lines. Joaquin’s lack of dialogue does pick up later in the story, but despite more lines, Joaquin still seems to be too bored and disinterested to be the star of this historical movie. His half-asleep personality throughout this film will probably preclude any chance at an Oscar nomination. Then due to the relatively low ratings of 69% on Rotten Tomatoes – there is a high probability that this movie might not be nominated for many Oscars, if any. The many problems with this film are a shame because this should have been a great movie about one of the most controversial and important war generals in history.

Where this movie does succeed in a very big way is with the extremely well-shot battle scenes, showing the horrific ways young men in the early 1800s died in battle. Many of the soldiers are ordered to stand right into the line of fire while a small ball of iron obliterates their chest, and legs or just blows their heads off. Some soliders are even playing drums just waiting for their turn to die.

Then there are the small and large cannon balls, also made of iron that blow up everything around the marching soldiers, cutting hundreds of them to ribbons. This movie starts with the beheading of Marie Antoinette with a guillotine, and right from the beginning, this film is not for any moviegoer who is disturbed by the constant visuals of death. In the early days of warfare, death was commonplace, with little or no medical expertise to save any soldier wounded in battle. At the end of this movie, it was mentioned that in the 61 battles that Napoleon led in his lifetime, 3 million men died. There was no mention of how many were wounded.

The other failure in this movie was the lack of detailed explanations of the battles and why they were being fought. Some of the brilliant Napoleon’s battle strategies are shown, but not enough, missing the point that Napolean’s genius as a general is one of the most interesting parts of his life story.

Napolean’s relationship with Josephine, played by Vanessa Kirby I thought was covered well enough, revealing several details about their marriage and divorce that most people probably did not know. There was too much of the movie devoted this Napoleon and Josephine and not enough about Napoleon’s war career. This movie does tend to be slow and boring in too many areas.

The other good news is that this movie, while long at 2 hours and 38 minutes does not seem to be too long.

The Rotten Tomatoes rating of 69% is probably too low, with my rating of around 75% and a recommendation mainly for the history lesson and the extremely well produced battle scenes.

Movie Review: May December


The new movie “May December” from the movie poster gives a very misleading message about what this film might be about. This film is a fictional story about a “Mary Kay Letourneau” – like couple, played by Julianne Moore as Gracie and Charles Melton as Joe and a famous movie actress Elizabeth played by Natalie Portman who is doing research for a movie role about their life after Gracie is released from prison. What follows in this story is nothing more than a series of different vignettes and scenes that sometimes seem connected, other scenes not connected with several different characters, and a mostly disjointed story that can put any viewer into a deep coma inside of 45 minutes.

This is another example of trying to be so different at the expense of an enjoyable and understandable story. This entire film is so intent on being so different that, most of what happens is boring and has no satisfying conclusions anywhere, especially with the abrupt and strange ending.

At the end, I thought about why this movie was even made. What was the point of these two hours of an extremely forgettable story. Then while reading and seeing the 90%+ ratings on Rotten Tomatoes I wondered what movie these critics were watching? This movie is a big-time miss, with my rating around 50% only for some of the acting.

Movie Review: Next Goal Wins


The new movie “Next Goal Wins” is another one of those inspirational sports stories that would never work, unless this was a true story.

For reasons that are a mystery for most American sports fans, Soccer is a sport that is very big in the rest of the world, never in the United States. Even though this sport is so mind-bendingly and unbelievably boring, people around the world go crazy watching this sport. Despite all of this, you have to respect the athletes who run around a huge field, back and forth, trying to use their feet and head to score a goal – something that rarely happens in most soccer matches. The typical score of a soccer game is normally 1-0.

Early on in this story, the history of the American Somoa International Soccer team – including an incredible 32-0 loss in 2001 to Australia is mentioned, as well as the fact that the international Samoa team never even scored 1 goal in the entire history of the soccer team. Then a down on his luck, recently fired and frequently drunk soccer coach Thomas Rongen, played by Michael Fassbender is forced to take the worst coaching job in international soccer – the coach of the worst team in history – American Samoa.

When Rongen arrives in Somoa, he is introduced to bad surroundings, a run-down team facility, and a group of out-of-shape and broken-down group of soccer players. There is no doubt that turning a team like this around is impossible, but somehow Rongen, even though he is either drunk or drinking most of the time, manages to slowly improve the team.

One of the most important members of the team is the first transgender international soccer player Jaiyah, played by Kaimana. At first there are some major conflicts between Rongen and Jaiyah, that over time are resolved through conversation and understanding – one of the best parts of this film.

There is nothing new within this typical sports story, we have all seen movies like this before – including an ending soccer game that was completly expected. Unfortunately this movie will probably be out of the theaters in about 2 weeks, due to the very low and incorrect 41% Rotten Tomatoes rating. This movie is about a 70% with a very marginal recommendation, mainly due to the acting and overall message.