Netflix Movie Review: Blonde


The only upside of the new Netflix movie “Blonde” is the realization that 60 years after Marilyn Monroe died, she is still relevant and producers are still making major motion pictures about her tragic life.

A childhood with no father and a mother who wound up in a mental institution, it is a fluke – even despite Monroe’s movie star looks, that she ever wound up as one of the most famous actresses in the history of film. The problem with the new Netflix biopic “Blonde” is that we all already knew about Marilyn Monroe’s tragic life – all this movie does is tell a well-known depressing story very badly. The other problem with Blonde is that the star of this movie Ana de Armas gives a performance so strong that it would have been nominated for an Academy Award – were it not for the fact that this movie is so bad. Like Whitney Houston, Marilyn Monroe did not have the thick skin necessary to deal with the harsh critics and constant pursuit of the paparazzi. It was her delicate personality that led to Monroe’s tragic life, drug use, and 3 divorces.

There is significant nudity in this movie by de Armas and at least one scene that was extremely inappropriate, considering the important aspects of Monroe’s tragic career. Monroe was married 3 times, the last marriage was to Joe Dimaggio and yet there was no mention of Dimaggio in this film – yet another major flaw. For some other odd reason, this film changes from black and white to color in several areas, adding another major annoyance that prevents this movie from being a respected biopic of Marilyn Monroe’s life. This film is also way too long, clocking in at 2 hours and 46 minutes – for a movie that should only be about 2 hours long.

The critics are unanimous across the board – giving very bad reviews to this film with low 42% ratings, with the IMDB ratings a very low 5.6. For me, it took several attempts to get through this mess, watching different parts over several days. Unfortunately, this one is a big miss, despite de Armas impressive performance.

Movie Review: Bros


The big news in the movie industry this weekend is why the new movie “Bros”, the first-ever LGBTQ RomCom film in the history of movies – that received a very high 90% rating on Rotten Tomatoes – bombed huge at the box office, with only 4.8 million dollars.

In my opinion, this movie bombed because it was trying to be a romantic comedy like “When Harry Met Sally”, “Notting Hill” or “You’ve Got Mail”, but the screenwriter (in this case of the star of the movie Billy Eichner) forgot that movies like these from the 1980s, all knew that there was no reason to ever have any overt sexual scenes. Considering this is the first-ever openly gay movie, they should have known that “too much too early” might ruin not only the box office for this film but also any new attempt at another movie like this one. The point of all romantic comedy movies is all about the relationships, the highs, and the lows, the breakups, the reconciliation and then, some funny moments. “When Harry Met Sally”, released in 1989, and “Annie Hall”, released in 1977, both accomplish all of these things better than any other movie of its kind ever have.

According to Rotten Tomatoes, Bros is considered a very funny movie – but it is only somewhat funny, with no real laugh-out-loud scenes. There are some good points with this story that seem like the old-time romantic comedies of the 1980s, but not enough to rescue this film to fully recommend. Very clearly, this movie could have been much better, with about 5 more rewrites and removing the unnecessary and at times bad taste scenes.

The critics are way too high at 90% on Rotten Tomatoes with their rating of this movie, with my rating about 70% and a mild pass due to the unnecessary scenes, that should never be needed for any well produced and directed romantic comedy.


Netflix Movie Review: Last Seen Alive


There are many good reasons why screenwriting has always been called, “The most difficult art form”. For one thing, there must be a good story and dialogue that will create opportunities for good acting. There has to be a level of common sense, continuity, and very often whatever the action is within those 2 hours on screen, people have to behave, the way that people actually behave in real life. In the case of a highly flawed new Gerard Butler movie on Netflix, “Last Seen Alive” – this movie is loaded with so many errors and so many instances where any lead character would never react the way Butler’s character acts, it ruins the entire movie.

While dropping off at a local gas station, Will Spann, played by Butler is a wealthy real estate investor, who is having marriage problems with his wife Lisa Spann, played by Jamie Alexander. While running short on gas, on a trip to Lisa’s parent’s house, Lisa goes into a gas station and never returns to her husband. She is abducted – immediately a great deal of similarity to the movie “Breakdown”, released in 1997 starring Kurt Russell and Kathleen Quinlan – a much better movie that actually is logical.

Obviously, a frantic Will Spann, calls the police who tell him to stay there until they arrive. Instead, he stupidly drives to Lisa’s parent’s house, rather than just call them. Then, even worse, he follows this up by kidnapping one of the suspects – something that nobody with so much to lose would ever do. This kidnapping, starts a series of idiotic events, finishing within a drug house, with Will trying to find his wife by walking through sheets of plastic used for walls in a broken-down barn. This walking around is for so long a period of time that it was obvious the director was trying to make the movie longer. There is not much of a story here, just a series of events for Will Spann to continue to make mistake after mistake – trying desperately to find his wife. Perhaps the stupidest error is at the end, where Will Spann is not even arrested by the police for being caught red-handed in a kidnapping with the victim found bound in his car by a police officer. It seems the screenwriter was trying very hard to make this story as illogical as possible.

This time around – because this movie is so ridiculous – the Rotten Tomatoes ratings of 11% are accurate and I give this movie a solid pass.