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Movie Review: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

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One small sign of imagination of the new movie “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” is naming the sequel this way, which is also a reference to the fact that saying “Beetlejuice” three times, causes this living-dead-zombie creature played by Michael Keaton to appear. Hopefully, there will never be a third movie where they have this name repeated 3 times in the title – because what would happen then, the end of the world?

There is no sign of a movie here, just a series of disconnected scenes, showing dismembered dead bodies and a low number of appearances of the main character played by Keaton in any scenes, except for the end. There is nothing funny or entertaining and it is hard to understand why so many people like to see dead and dismembered zombies and think it’s funny or interesting. Disgusting is never funny. Never will be.

This film stars Catherine O’Hara as Delia, Jenna Ortega as Astrid, Willem Dafoe as Wolf, and Monica Bellucci as Delores, with actors Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis not appearing in this bad sequel, perhaps because they actually read this non-existent and very bad script.

Given that the original Beetlejuice came out in early 1989, it is impossible to believe that after so many years and ongoing discussions of a new film, that a screenplay this bad was written and then greenlighted. At the end of this very bad movie, there is an extremely weird and stupid musical number in a church performed by all of the main characters. This last scene made no sense, but nothing makes sense in this movie, starting with why they decided to produce it in the first place.

The Rotten Tomatoes rating of 77% for this mess is once again crazy and dead wrong, with my rating 10% only for some of the special effects. This movie would be better suited for training aspiring makeup artists. This level of horrible movie making should be skipped by everyone.

Movie Review: Slingshot

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The new movie “Slingshot” is about a spaceship – with technology at least 50-75 years into the future trying to use the gravity of Jupiter to “slingshot” around Jupiter, using its extreme gravity to travel to Saturn’s moon Titan, much faster.

This film stars Casey Affleck as John, Laurence Fishburne as Captain Franks, and Tomer Capone as Nash as 3 astronauts traveling to Jupiter for years with a mission to Titan, one of the moons of Saturn, with a mission that includes the hope of finding a new source of renewable energy that will save planet Earth. 

Fundamentally this entire story is about the need to put astronauts to sleep for months at a time for long-term space travel using drugs that cause nausea, and hallucinations. The many hallucinations in this story with all 3 of the main characters are too many, with several of them over the top insane with an absurd ending that does not have any logic given the story. There are many flashbacks in this story, with John dating and eventually falling in love with Zoe, played by Emily Beecham. Some of these flashbacks seem like they are real incidents that happened in the past, but too many are once again, hallucinations that John experiences because of the drugs that put the astronauts to sleep. The constant confusion about what is real and fake during this entire film gets old after about 40 minutes, making the entire premise of this film of nonstop fooling the audience more annoying than entertaining.

The other problem with this movie is that the technology to get humanity to Jupiter and Saturn is probably 50 years into the future at least, but the cell phones and laptops used in this story are all present-day. Obviously, this does not make any sense, but was probably necessary because there was not enough budget to create futuristic phones and computers.

The Rotten Tomatoes reviews are a correctly low 47% and I agree with this rating and do not recommend this film.

Movie Review: Blink Twice

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So how does a bad movie get greenlighted for production? Considering the money involved, the number of people, and the great risk of losing money, anyone would think that there are checks and balances to avoid a highly probable financial disaster. In the case of the new and bad “Blink Twice”, this film was made most likely because of the clout of the director and co-writer Zoe Kravitz, who has been in the movie industry for well over 10 years, and her finance Channing Tatum, who is the lead character in this film. When you have contacts and clout, you can get funding, and call in favors to get other famous actors in your movie, even if the entire concept is as horrendous as this one is.

The logline for this film reads like a legal excerpt from the Cosby rape and sexual abuse trial from a few years ago. “A billionaire who owns an island tricks several women into joining him and a group of his friends for a weekend retreat where the women are drugged, sexually assaulted, and then given other drugs so they forget what happened”. How an idea this bad, years in the making, could ever have been made into a movie is at a minimum outrageous, especially considering news stories concerning Bill Cosby, Jeffrey Epstein, R. Kelly, and most recently, P. Diddy.

This film stars Channing Tatum as Slater, the billionaire, most likely inspired by the late Jeffrey Epstein who tricks women into traveling to his island. Haley Joel Osment, plays Tom, one of the friends of Slater on the island. Naomi Ackie plays Frida, one of the many female victims, and Adria Arjona as Sarah – another victim. Christian Slater has a small part in this movie, as one of the friends of Slater who live on the island, and Geena Davis as Stacy, another victim of sexual assault in a rare appearance in a movie in recent years – as I wondered why she would pick this train wreck to make any attempt at a movie comeback. This entire movie is violent and in many areas disgusting, with most of the characters wandering around drunk either from alcohol or drugs. Why Zoe Kravitz would choose this terrible idea to write and then direct her first movie makes no sense.

Most amazing about this film is that the Rotten Tomatoes rating is a way too high 79%, that makes zero sense. This movie is 10% at best, only for some of the acting, and should be missed by everyone and never should have been made. A better title for this two hour mess should have been “Blink and close your eyes” so you never see a second of this very bad movie.