Throughout 44 years of these ridiculous, absurd, and mostly bad movies, the one central theme with all of them is that this Michael Meyers murderer who wears a mask seems to get killed over and over again, and then somehow he is not dead when he should definitely be dead. The question has always been, is it really necessary to be this ridiculous? When is dead, really dead? Why stretch medical science to new absurd levels with every Halloween movie?
The stupidest of all of the movies that include Michael Meyers being killed off is “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later”, released in 1998. At the end of this movie, after Laurie Strode and Meyers fall down a ravine in a van, she decapitated him with an ax. So how could there have been so many more Halloween movies? As far as I have heard, medical science has never figured out how to reattach a head.
The 13th and hopefully final Halloween movie is called “Halloween Ends”, the follow-up to last year’s “Halloween Kills” – both movies were filmed at the same time starting over 3 years ago. This last movie adds an additional copycat killer who is a young man named Corey falsely accused of killing a young boy while babysitting. Due to the injustice of how he is treated and bullied by the people in this small town, he befriends Meyers who is hiding in a sewer system – where else? This additional killer means much less screen time for Meyers who has most of his scenes at the end of this film with Laurie Strode, played once again by Jamie Lee Curtis – who has promised on several talk shows that this is in fact the merciful end to this series of 13 stupid movies.
I saved money on this film by streaming it on Peacock for 4.99 rather than paying full price in the theater. The other advantage of streaming is that you can fast-forward through the boring and too-bad-to-sit- through scenes.
The critics on Rotten Tomatoes this time around are correct with their low 40% ratings for this movie, that is only for the most die-hard fans of this franchise.
Some days ago, I first heard about the new movie “Everything Everywhere All at Once” on Tik Tok where one person was raving about how great this film is. Some days later one of the stars of this film, Michelle Yeoh was on the View, where Whoopie Goldberg said, “you must see this movie”. Some time later I found out that the Rotten Tomatoes ratings were as high as 97% and critics were raving about how crazy and unusual and good this movie is.
When I saw this horrendous and monstrous mess of 2 hours and 19 minutes – I was expecting something very good or even great. I could not have been more wrong, or more disappointed at the strange insanity of what I saw. People get transported around by pressing green buttons on their ears, they put plastic eyes on their forehead. For some reason there is a giant bagel that has strange time travel powers, that eventually winds up as a hairdo on one of the characters. People karate fight with giant rubber penises and they dance around with giant rubber hot dogs instead of fingers. A Chinese family has some problems with the IRS and they visit an IRS agent played by Jamie Lee Curtis (who looks like she is 85 years old) and during the interview Evelyn, played by Michelle Yeoh gets transported to different times – for reasons unknown. There is no sense here, no logic, no continuity, no story, just a long and insane series of crazy scenes that as a viewer I could not wait until they were over. This movie also fools those – like me – who wanted to run from the theater, with a false alarm “THE END” scene, where I thought the agony was finally over. I thought this was especially cruel, considering how alarmingly bad this horrible mess was to sit through.
I remember thinking, what was the thought process here with this horrible movie, just about the worst one I have ever seen? Why make this level of sheer garbage? What was the point of all this?
As far as the very high reviews on both IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes, the only thing that makes sense is that the critics were paid off to give positive reviews. Nothing else really makes sense. This film is not a movie, its just insanity connected together by a screenwriter and director on LSD.
This disastrous production gets my lowest ever rating of a zero. Do not be fooled by paid-off critics and save 2+ hours what is arguably the worst film ever made.
For the entire Halloween movie series spanning 12 movies starting in 1978, with one more “Halloween Ends” to be released in 2022 – we all expect a stupid movie, an idiotic plot with zero logic, including the fact that this mass murder who wears a mask just cannot be killed – no matter what. However, this new movie “Halloween Kills” breaks its own ongoing record of increasingly idiotic films and reaches new highs with this most recent very bad installment. For those expecting many scenes with Jamie Lee Curtis in this latest version, they will be very disappointed because she has a relatively small part. Its obvious that the producers decided to shoot these “last two” Halloween movies together so one could speculate that for next years Halloween Ends, Curtis will have a much bigger part.
I remember seeing “Halloween H2O” in 1998, and at the end of this bad film Jamie Lee Curtis decapitates Michael Meyers with an ax (see video) – and yet, somehow, this clear end to the series of films 23 years ago continued. How can that be? Did medical science advance to the point of sewing Meyer’s head back on? The point is, when the owner of this franchise decided to end a series of movies, that should be the end. The mass murderer is clearly and forever dead, there is no coming back from a decapitation. Or is there? Don’t cheat logic and the audience along the way, by dragging this movie franchise on forever, with one stupid movie after another for decades.
Will next years Halloween Ends be the end? Unfortunately that depends entirely on how much money it makes. If Halloween Kills and Halloween Ends make money, there will be yet another bad Halloween film in our future. If that is the case, maybe murderer Meyers has a twin or something? Or a new copy-cat murderer takes over for Meyers and then there can be 20 more years of bad “copy cat mask murder” movies.
Halloween Kills is in movie theaters and streaming on the new Peacock service. I opted for the Peacock service, saving some money for a movie that I knew in advance would be very bad. The reviews for this movie are correctly negative, as low as 42% on Rotten Tomatoes and even for the most die hard horror movie fans – I rate this latest mess of a movie, a big pass.