Movie Review: Everything Everywhere All at Once

Some days ago, I first heard about the new movie “Everything Everywhere All at Once” on Tik Tok where one person was raving about how great this film is. Some days later one of the stars of this film, Michelle Yeoh was on the View, where Whoopie Goldberg said, “you must see this movie”. Some time later I found out that the Rotten Tomatoes ratings were as high as 97% and critics were raving about how crazy and unusual and good this movie is.

When I saw this horrendous and monstrous mess of 2 hours and 19 minutes – I was expecting something very good or even great. I could not have been more wrong, or more disappointed at the strange insanity of what I saw. People get transported around by pressing green buttons on their ears, they put plastic eyes on their forehead. For some reason there is a giant bagel that has strange time travel powers, that eventually winds up as a hairdo on one of the characters. People karate fight with giant rubber penises and they dance around with giant rubber hot dogs instead of fingers. A Chinese family has some problems with the IRS and they visit an IRS agent played by Jamie Lee Curtis (who looks like she is 85 years old) and during the interview Evelyn, played by Michelle Yeoh gets transported to different times – for reasons unknown. There is no sense here, no logic, no continuity, no story, just a long and insane series of crazy scenes that as a viewer I could not wait until they were over. This movie also fools those – like me – who wanted to run from the theater, with a false alarm “THE END” scene, where I thought the agony was finally over. I thought this was especially cruel, considering how alarmingly bad this horrible mess was to sit through.

I remember thinking, what was the thought process here with this horrible movie, just about the worst one I have ever seen? Why make this level of sheer garbage? What was the point of all this?

As far as the very high reviews on both IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes, the only thing that makes sense is that the critics were paid off to give positive reviews. Nothing else really makes sense. This film is not a movie, its just insanity connected together by a screenwriter and director on LSD.

This disastrous production gets my lowest ever rating of a zero. Do not be fooled by paid-off critics and save 2+ hours what is arguably the worst film ever made.

Movie Review: Ambulance

Some days ago, Steven Colbert made a joke about there being a “Good Michael Bay Movie”, as if that would be something that would ever happen or if it did it would be extremely rare.

For decades, Michael Bay has been known for making bad music video-like movies with rapid fire scene changes, too much panning around characters, no story, no continuity, no sequential line of thought. The very worst being all of the 5 Transformer movies he produced and directed, that were arguably some of the very worst movies ever made. Despite all of this, Bay is worth 450 million dollars and in what other profession could opinions be this low along with so many movies and so much money?

There was a commercial I saw on Hulu advertising the release of Bay’s latest movie “Ambulance”, and even in the advertisement there was mention of Bay’s talent for making horrible movies, saying that this time around Ambulance is a winner. The Rotten Tomatoes ratings for Ambulance is only 69% – which for Bay is one of his highest rated movies. For me, this movie did have some of the constant camera panning and some inane bouncing around, but overall, this film did work and was enjoyable with a sequential, connected and understandable story. The two main characters of Ambulance are former Afghanistan soldiers who are bank robbers both disgruntled about having no futures after their tours of duties ended, played by Jake Gyllenhaal and relative newcomer Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. The chemistry between Gyllenhaal and Mateen was very believable throughout these two hours. The majority of this film has to do with two bank robbers running from the police with an injured police officer and an emergency medic played very well by Eiza Gonz├ílez. Some of these scenes are believable, some are not, ultimately resulting in too much of this movie devoted to standard police car chases and constant crashes.

Despite all of this, I give Ambulance a marginal recommendation.