Movie Review: Clerks III


The new movie “Clerks III” is one of those sequels where the producers thought, there is a built-in audience, nothing much to do here, we can slap something together and it will be good enough to make a profit.

The original Clerks, released in 1994, the sequel Clerks II released in 2006, and now this one, are all about a depressing Video Store, next to Quick check with mostly intoxicated or high workers who understandably hate their lives and jobs and are looking to escape their real life by being as intoxicated as possible. There were some funny ideas and scenes in the first Clerks, I never saw the second Clerks but this latest version was a long, boring, and unfunny disaster.

Fundamentally there is nothing funny about having to hold a horrible job to survive, 5 days and 40+ hours a week – a very harsh reality to so many millions of us. Constantly smoking weed also gets old pretty fast and was somewhat funny decades ago with some Cheech and Chong movies. There is no real story within this film other than a man in his 50’s working in a Quick Check and very depressed about his life and losing the love of his life played by Rosario Dawson – who appears as a ghost in several scenes.

The main characters – who are the Quick Check employees, Dante and Elias want to change their lives by producing a movie – all about their lives as Quick Check employees. Jay and Silent (who work next door) also get involved and the rest of this movie is all about jokes and scenes that just do not work. This was yet again one of those movie-going experiences where you are just looking at your watch, waiting for the nightmare to finally end.

The Rotten Tomatoes critics are way too generous with their 64% ratings for this film, with my rating of 20% and a big-time miss.

Movie Review: Halloween Ends


Throughout 44 years of these ridiculous, absurd, and mostly bad movies, the one central theme with all of them is that this Michael Meyers murderer who wears a mask seems to get killed over and over again, and then somehow he is not dead when he should definitely be dead. The question has always been, is it really necessary to be this ridiculous? When is dead, really dead? Why stretch medical science to new absurd levels with every Halloween movie?

The stupidest of all of the movies that include Michael Meyers being killed off is “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later”, released in 1998. At the end of this movie, after Laurie Strode and Meyers fall down a ravine in a van, she decapitated him with an ax. So how could there have been so many more Halloween movies? As far as I have heard, medical science has never figured out how to reattach a head.

The 13th and hopefully final Halloween movie is called “Halloween Ends”, the follow-up to last year’s “Halloween Kills” – both movies were filmed at the same time starting over 3 years ago. This last movie adds an additional copycat killer who is a young man named Corey falsely accused of killing a young boy while babysitting. Due to the injustice of how he is treated and bullied by the people in this small town, he befriends Meyers who is hiding in a sewer system – where else? This additional killer means much less screen time for Meyers who has most of his scenes at the end of this film with Laurie Strode, played once again by Jamie Lee Curtis – who has promised on several talk shows that this is in fact the merciful end to this series of 13 stupid movies.

I saved money on this film by streaming it on Peacock for 4.99 rather than paying full price in the theater. The other advantage of streaming is that you can fast-forward through the boring and too-bad-to-sit- through scenes.

The critics on Rotten Tomatoes this time around are correct with their low 40% ratings for this movie, that is only for the most die-hard fans of this franchise.

Movie Review: Amsterdam


So how does a movie disaster like “Amsterdam” happen? For those of us on the outside looking in, we can only speculate.

David O. Russell has written and directed several great movies, including “Joy” – 2015 (outstanding), “Silver Linings Playbook” – 2012 (outstanding), and “American Hustle” – 2013 (good). Writing a screenplay can take a very long time, especially if the writer is a perfectionist – which is probably the case with Russell.

So what does a highly respected screenwriter do, after so much hard work, and writing for so long, when he/she realizes that they created a bad screenplay? After all of that time and effort very often a screenplay can still eventually result in a garbage end result – which is why screenwriting is such a difficult art form. So then how do you rationalize and justify so much time and hard work wasted and still make a movie that is bad? The only solution is to use your clout as a writer/director to call in favors from all of your friends to rescue what is a very bad script and ultimately a very bad movie. The thinking here is, let’s invite “ALL” of the most famous actors in Hollywood – to hopefully offset the inevitable bad reviews that will come out. Just maybe this strategy will rescue the box office, especially if you have Robert De Niro in this movie with a small part. De Niro agreed to make this movie because he was a major part of Silver Linings Playbook and Joy, which are two outstanding David O Russel films. De Niro respects and likes David O. Russel, so even after reading a very bad script, he agreed to make this bad movie, to help his friend. The other rationalization for the other actors is to do a favor for Russell, so maybe in the future, you would be considered for another major project.

Amsterdam is about 3 friends who meet during World War I and then become suspects in a murder in 1933. The story is told with disjointed flashbacks that start in 1933, then go back to World War I, and then back again to 1933. De Niro plays a politician who appears mostly at the end of this confusing disaster of a story. Not only is this mess boring and slow, it mostly is too convoluted, with too many characters, and too many sub-stories, resulting in a payoff that mostly makes no sense. After sitting through 2 hours of this, most of the audience is too deep in a coma to even care how all of this garbage turns out.

The list of big-name actors in this film is very long, including Taylor Swift, Chris Rock, Michael Shannon, Anya Taylor-Joy, Margot Robbie, Zoe Saldana, Robert De Niro, Rami Malek, Mike Myers, John David Washington and Christian Bale. This is probably the longest list of currently relevant actors appearing in the same movie – in many years. Unfortunately, all of these highly skilled actors will never be able to rescue any screenplay this bad.

The Rotten Tomatoes rating for this waste of two hours is a correct 33%, with my rating at 20% mainly because this was all so hard to sit through. Run from this bad movie experience which is a nightmare to watch.