Movie Review: Bullet Train


There are so many things facinating to consider when a stupid and bad movie like “Bullet Train” is released. How can a high level named star like Brad Pitt read, comprehend and then decide to make garbage like this after reading the script? Did someone just gather together some named stars like Brad Pitt and throw in cameos from Ryan Reynolds, Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock and believe that all those well known bankable personalities can rescue an extremely bad movie? Did someone owe some producer or director a favor, given that Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock were the main stars in the recent also bad “The Lost City” where Brad Pitt did a cameo in their movie? How much money was spent on a story, script, idea this stupid? How much money will be lost when decisions to make a movie this horrible are accumulated over a long period of time?

The best critical comments on Rotten Tomatoes about this movie is from Rex Reed who wrote “Just when you think you’ve seen the worst movie ever made, along comes a pile of toxic waste called Bullet Train. During the course of an interminable and unimpeachably excruciating two hours and six minutes, this abomination of a movie not only kills off almost everyone onboard but demolishes two of the world’s most miraculous trains as well. I could not agree more with these comments.

For me there were only 2 good things about this mess. The heavy English accents make much of the stupid dialogue indiscernible. The Bullet Train in Japan is a very impressive means of very fast transportation that cost 90 billion dollars to build. Other than that, there is nothing good here. The scenes are disconnected and all over the place. There is no logical flow, anywhere. There is flipping from different timelines trying to explain this garbage of movie mess. Nothing makes any sense, increasing the hopes that this torture of 2 hours of wasted film will finally be over.

The Rotten Tomatoes ratings for this movie are a way too high 53%, with my rating of 3% – only for those who are interested in seeing Japan’s impressive bullet train. Do yourself a favor and miss this embarrassment of movie making – one of the worst movies ever made.

Movie Review: Vengeance


The new movie “Vengeance” from first time director B.J Novak is one of the few movies that tries to be dramatic and comedic at the same time. The central part of the humor is all about defining the difference between people from New York City, who are sophisticated and rich as opposed to people in the poor deep south, who for the most part are far less educated.

The story of Vengeance is about an x-girlfriend of Ben Manalowitz, who was either killed or murdered while in a small town in Texas. Ben is a radio host and writer who decides to travel to this small town and by using his cell phone as a tape recorder, decides to create a podcast of his investigation about what happened to his x-girlfriend. Ben works with a producer Eloise, played by Issa Rae who reviews the ongoing podcasts back in New York.

There are some funny lines in this movie, pointing out the contrasts between the poor town people in Texas and Manalowitz – the best being, “How do you want your coffee? In my mouth”. The problem with this film is that the funny lines are not funny enough and there are periods where this film drags into solid boredom almost to the point where I wondered why they made this movie in the first place. The actor Ashton Kucher is in this movie as Quentin Sellers, a wealthy celebrity within this Texas town. Kutcher is a friend of BJ Novak from his MTV “Punked” series from 2003. Sellers provides some additional high level humor within this story and an unexpected ending that I thought for the most part did not work.

Essentially, this movie is too boring and slow in too many areas to recommend and I am surprised at the solid 80% ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. I rate this movie a pass.

Movie Review: Nope


In the year 2009 the world heard about one of the most horrifying events involving an animal in the history of the world. A woman by the name Carla Nash was attacked and almost killed by a friends 200 pound Chimpanzee. Her wounds were described as horrifying by the emergency room doctors. Her friends Chimp, named Travis had had ripped off Carla’s hands, nose, lips, torn out her eyes and completely smashed the bones in the middle of her face. Some months later Carla was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey wearing a bee keepers head gear to hide her destroyed face. Some time after that Carla recieved a face transplant and her hand transplants failed. I remember the Oprah Winfrey interview from some 13 years ago and wondered at the time why anyone would want to continue to live after being blinded and having their face ripped off by a chimp.

For some reason, Jordan Peele, obviously facinated about this horrendous news story from 13 years ago, decided to add many references to it, including even Oprah Winfrey to his new movie “Nope”. There is even a scene with the woman whose face was destroyed by a chimp who appeared on a sitcom years earlier, sitting in a stadium wearning the exact same bee keeper outfit that Carla Nash wore when Oprah interviewed her 13 years ago. From what I have found on the internet so far, there is some symbolism to this reference with Hollywood’s poor treatment of animals. However, this reference is so obscure and hard to understand that I saw no reason to include this horrible event from 13 years ago, within a movie that is mostly about the appearance of an alien spaceship on a horse farm. Then add the fact that Peele decided to show at least 3 scenes of the chimpanzee attack that at least he had the humanity to not show the close up details of a womans face and eyes being eaten by a monkey. This is the essential problem with all of Jordan Peele’s movies. The attempt to create something never seen before, trying to be different to a level that is way too over the top with weird messages and crazy ideas. The question with movies like this is always, “Is this strange and different good, or strange and different bad?”. For me, mainly because of the Carla Nash reference, this 3rd Peele movie is strange and different bad. To put a reference to a horrible event like this to make a point about Hollywood’s mistreatment of animals, not only makes no sense but it also has nothing to do with the essential plot of this film. So, why do it?

As far as the story, once again Peele is using actor Daniel Kaluuya to star in this movie. Kaluuya also stared in Peele’s first movie “Get Out” that was released in 2017 – another movie I did not like. I think of Peele’s movies as someone who tells a joke and when nobody laughs, he has to explain the joke. A joke is never funny when it requires research or a slide rule.

Kaluuya plays OJ Haywood (yes, his name is OJ) who owns a horse farm with his sister played by Keke Palmer, whose name is of all things Emerald. There are a series of clouds that hide a large spaceship-like object that we learn as the story moves forward, may be more than just a space ship. There are scenes of increasing and violent interactions with the spaceship/creature and many reminders of a much better movie, “War of the Worlds” directed by Steven Speilberg and starring Tom Cruise that was released in 2005. The ending was also rather strange with a documentary director involved in trying to film the appearances of this alien spaceship and a tech representative of a local electronics store. I thought the ending was just OK, with the acting good throughout.

The Rotten Tomatoes ratings are in the low 80% range with my rating only a 70% while not recommending this movie, due to the reasons already stated.