Netflix Movie Review: Me Time

Some months ago, in a conference room for some Netflix production meeting, someone said, lets just pair up Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg in some story, some idea. It doesnt matter what that idea is. This does not need a script – we will make money just based on name recognition from two very bankable stars. And so it goes. Q rating over quality. Bankable name recognition over any semblance of a good idea.

The new Netflix movie “Me Time” starring Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg is so bad, that fast forward is your best friend. This film is 100% unwatchable, one of the worst movies I have ever seen. So bad that once again, there is an intense vomiting scene where Kevin Hart eats something bad and vomits all over an outdoor restaurant. For some reason, over the years, too many of the wrong people in charge think that vomiting is funny. Vomiting is disgusting and never funny. Vomiting in a big way in any scene within a bad movie will never rescue that film. As I have said in the past on this web site,vomiting within a bad movie is always a tell tale sign that the film will be horrific. Me Time is yet another example of this phenomenon. This also happened in Kevin Hart’s last bad Netflix movie, “The Man from Toronto” – that included yet another grotesque vomiting scene.

Kevin Hart is arguably one of the greatest stand up comedians of all time, but he has still not made a good “comedy” movie – other than his concert movies, which were all outstanding. The problem here is long term degredation over time might ruin Hart’s comedy movie career. However his serious roles in some recent movies have been overall good, so maybe the obvious solution is, do not make another bad comedy movie and stick with the serious ones.

The bad story of Me Time is about two old friends, played by Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg reuniting for a series of idiotic attempted physical comedy events that even include Hart almost being killed by a Mountain Lion – now how funny is that? Regina Hall plays Kevin Hart’s wife, and its a wonder why she took this small role within a horrendous unfunny comedy movie.

The Rotten Tomatoes ratings for this horrendous garbage are a very low 6% and I agree with this rating and rate this movie a “run for your life” big miss.

Movie Review: Father Stu

In the world of producers and movie making, its all about buying that hot story before anyone else does, so down the road, if your lucky it might be made into a movie. True stories are always the best when it comes to movies, especially if the story is great and the film is made with quality. The surprising thing about “Father Stu” is that the story, which is good, does not seem strong enough to make a movie about. “A former boxer, down and out on his luck, tries to be an actor in Hollywood, and then a butcher in a Super Market, finds the right woman, only to get into a major Motorcycle accident where he is almost killed. While in a coma he sees a vision and wants to become a priest – only to get a rare muscle disease that robs him of most bodily functions”.

Not to give anything else away, most of this story is engrossing, although boring in too many areas, making what could have been much better just an average movie. The acting is good throughout with Mark Wahlberg as Father Stu, and Mel Gibson (who seems to have survived as an actor) as his father. The most interesting aspect of this production is the extreme weight loss and weight gain Mark Wahlberg had to do within the timeline of this story, that has to be very dangerous to anyone’s health.

The Rotten Tomatoes ratings for Father Stu are an understandable 41% with a much higher audience rating. My rating is a passable 65% with no recommendation to see this film.

Movie Review: Uncharted

The new movie “Uncharted” is one of those “Lets take some special effects ideas that tested well with other action movies, slap together a garbage script, throw Tom Holland (Spiderman) and Mark Wahlberg into the mix, make an exciting trailer involving people and large objects falling out of planes, and we have a good shot at turning a profit. The only problem with this kind of thinking is because there is no real story, its mostly a nightmare for the audience to sit through this.

This movie is nothing more than a stew of action scenes we have all seen in several Fast And Furious movies, Mission Impossible Rogue Nation and National Treasure movies. There are two keys that open doors that exist in different parts of the world, all culminating with finding gold inside two sunken pirate ships. The only good thing about this movie are some of the special effects at the end of the film, involving people, cars and huge objects falling out of planes. The final scenes involve huge helicopters that are carrying huge pirate ships – this must have been hard to shoot and cost a great deal of money. Its too bad that the film wasn’t 20 minutes long, just showing these last parts, because sitting through the first 80% of this mostly bad movie was at times unbearable.

I agree with the very low 38% ratings for Uncharted on Rotten Tomatoes and do not recommend this film.