Amazon Prime Movie Review: Samaritan

One can only wonder about the timing of the release of the new Synvester Stallone movie “The Samaritan” and the announcement of his divorce after 25 years from Jennifer Flavin. As this movie was ready for release for probably months, it would obviously be known in advance that there is nothing new about this super-hero-like film, and the odds were high that it would be mostly panned by the critics. Unfortunately movies like this one are reviewed before they are released, and in just about all cases, this greatly reduces the number of people who will see the movie. Having a major associated news story like a celebrity divorce just might save the box office and it seems that might be the case with this film.

For this story, Stallone plays some kind of a twin brother superhero duo called Samaritan and Nemesis. There was an epic showdown between the two brothers some 25 years earlier in this fictional city called Granite, and they were both presumed dead. This story is about a young boy of about 12 years old who discovers that Samaritan is still alive. There are numerous gang members who both employ and terrorize this boy, leading to the depressing and poor environment-crime-ridden scenes that always result in violence and Samaritan coming out of nowhere to save the boy from the gang members. The violence involves lots of people flying in the air from the extreme strength of Samaritan who has the ability to survive being shot by many bullets and even being hit by a car. Other than this there is nothing innovative or unforgettable here and this turns into a low-grade super hero movie rather quickly.

The Rotten Tomatoes ratings of 38% are accurate this time around, and this movie should be rated a miss.

Netflix Movie Review: Me Time

Some months ago, in a conference room for some Netflix production meeting, someone said, lets just pair up Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg in some story, some idea. It doesnt matter what that idea is. This does not need a script – we will make money just based on name recognition from two very bankable stars. And so it goes. Q rating over quality. Bankable name recognition over any semblance of a good idea.

The new Netflix movie “Me Time” starring Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg is so bad, that fast forward is your best friend. This film is 100% unwatchable, one of the worst movies I have ever seen. So bad that once again, there is an intense vomiting scene where Kevin Hart eats something bad and vomits all over an outdoor restaurant. For some reason, over the years, too many of the wrong people in charge think that vomiting is funny. Vomiting is disgusting and never funny. Vomiting in a big way in any scene within a bad movie will never rescue that film. As I have said in the past on this web site,vomiting within a bad movie is always a tell tale sign that the film will be horrific. Me Time is yet another example of this phenomenon. This also happened in Kevin Hart’s last bad Netflix movie, “The Man from Toronto” – that included yet another grotesque vomiting scene.

Kevin Hart is arguably one of the greatest stand up comedians of all time, but he has still not made a good “comedy” movie – other than his concert movies, which were all outstanding. The problem here is long term degredation over time might ruin Hart’s comedy movie career. However his serious roles in some recent movies have been overall good, so maybe the obvious solution is, do not make another bad comedy movie and stick with the serious ones.

The bad story of Me Time is about two old friends, played by Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg reuniting for a series of idiotic attempted physical comedy events that even include Hart almost being killed by a Mountain Lion – now how funny is that? Regina Hall plays Kevin Hart’s wife, and its a wonder why she took this small role within a horrendous unfunny comedy movie.

The Rotten Tomatoes ratings for this horrendous garbage are a very low 6% and I agree with this rating and rate this movie a “run for your life” big miss.

Movie Review: The Invitation

Another Vampire movie. Another bad Vampire movie. So many over the years that it is probably the #1 horror movie subject, other than zombies. At this point, who cares, why do another one?

The new movie “The Invitation” is about a young woman played by Nathalie Emmanuel (who is one of the cast members of the mostly inane Fast and Furious movies), being invited to a mansion where it turns out, except for the maids and butlers – everybody seems to be a Vampire. This bad film has sections lasting long periods of time, where nothing is really happening, and this becomes tedious and boring very quickly. There are the expected horror surprises, scenes of people being killed, and blood sucking vampires – but absolutely nothing interesting or compelling. It is hard to understand why this film was ever made. This is a badly made B movie that never should have been released to the theaters. Also, anyone within a few hours of visiting this Vampire mansion would have left immediately at the first sign of a vampire or possible impending doom. Nobody would have stayed for days, like the main character in this movie.

The Rotten Tomatoes rating for this film is a very low 17% and unfortunately I agree with this rating and give this production a solid pass.